A Quick Joke About Sarah Jessica Parker

My roommate in college, Martin, was a model and an actor. This, among other reasons, was one cause of the crippling body image issues that wracked his everyday life. His acting professor at the time told him, "Martin, so much of beauty is perception. Look at Sarah Jessica Parker. She's not conventionally attractive, and yet people still think she's beautiful. Do you know why? Because she carries herself like she's beautiful, and people who see her believe it." Of course being obsessive-compulsive as he was, Martin went out and rented the first three seasons of Sex and the City to study. Or more accurately, out of embarrassment, he forced me to rent them for him. Because the best way to look more hetero while renting Sex in the City is to bring your boyfriend along with you for support. We immediately headed back to the dorm, excited to start watching and learning from a master, but we weren't fully prepared for one thing: Sex in the City is terrible. Before we even got through the first scene, Martin had forsaken SJP's supposed wisdom on confidence, despite her on-screen sexual successes, and went back to an old standby -- getting drunk and starving himself. Me, I just felt like if I was going to have to watch someone fuck a horse, I could probably find porn with better dialogue.